{"id":332289,"date":"2021-11-19T11:46:58","date_gmt":"2021-11-19T10:46:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.scribbr.nl\/?p=332289"},"modified":"2023-05-31T14:12:43","modified_gmt":"2023-05-31T12:12:43","slug":"common-app-examples","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.scribbr.com\/college-essay\/common-app-examples\/","title":{"rendered":"Common App Essays | 7 Strong Examples with Commentary"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you\u2019re applying for college<\/a> via the Common App<\/strong>, you\u2019ll have to write an essay in response to one of seven prompts.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a brief overview of the Common App essay and seven examples of effective Common App essays, along with explanations of why they work.<\/p>\n

What is the Common Application essay?<\/h2>\n

The Common Application, or Common App<\/a>, is a college application portal that is accepted by more than 900 schools.<\/p>\n

Within the Common App is your main essay, a primary writing sample that all your prospective schools will read to evaluate your critical thinking<\/a> skills and value as a student. Since this essay is read by many colleges, avoid mentioning any college names or programs. Instead, save tailored answers for the supplementary school-specific essays<\/a> within the Common App.<\/p>\n

Regardless of your prompt choice, admissions officers will look for an ability to clearly and creatively communicate your ideas based on the selected prompt.<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve provided seven essay examples, one for each of the Common App prompts. After each essay, we\u2019ve provided a table with commentary on the essay\u2019s narrative, writing style and tone, demonstrated traits, and self-reflection.<\/p>\n

Prompt 1: Background, identity, interest, or talent<\/h2>\n

This essay explores the student\u2019s emotional journey toward overcoming her father\u2019s neglect through gymnastics discipline.<\/p>\n

Example: Background, identity, interest, or talent<\/figcaption>

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.<\/strong><\/p>\n

When \u201cThe Devil Went Down to Georgia\u201d began to play, it was my signal to lay out a winning floor routine. Round off. Back handspring. Double back layout. Stick!<\/p>\n

Instead, I jolted off the floor, landing out of bounds. Over the past week, I hadn\u2019t landed that pass once, and regionals were only seven days away. I heaved a heavy sigh and stomped over to the bench.<\/p>\n

Coach Farkas saw my consternation. \u201cMona, get out of your head. You\u2019re way too preoccupied with your tumbling passes. You could do them in your sleep!\u201d<\/p>\n

That was the problem. I was dreaming of tumbling and missing my landings, waking up in a cold sweat. The stress felt overwhelming.<\/p>\n

\u201cStretch out. You\u2019re done for tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n

I walked home from the gym that had been my second home since fourth grade. Yet my anxiety was increasing every time I practiced.<\/p>\n

I startled my mom. \u201cYou\u2019re home early! Wait! You walked? Mona, what\u2019s going on?!\u201d<\/p>\n

I slumped down at the kitchen table. \u201cDon\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n

She sat down across from me. \u201cDoes it have anything to do with your father texting you a couple of weeks ago about coming to see you at regionals?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what?! Why does it matter anymore?\u201d He walked out when I was 10 and never looked back. Still, dear ol\u2019 Dad always had a way of resurfacing when I least expected him.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt still matters because when you hear from him, you tend to crumble. Or have you not noticed?\u201d She offered a knowing wink and a compassionate smile.<\/p>\n

I started gymnastics right after Dad left. The coaches said I was a natural: short, muscular, and flexible. All I knew was that the more I improved, the more confident I felt. Gymnastics made me feel powerful, so I gave it my full energy and dedication.<\/p>\n

The floor routine became my specialty, and my performances were soon elevating our team score. The mat, solid and stable, became a place to explore and express my internal struggles. Over the years, no matter how angry I felt, the floor mat was there to absorb my frustration.<\/p>\n

The bars, beam, and vault were less forgiving because I knew I could fall. My performances in those events were respectable. But, the floor? Sometimes, I had wildly creative and beautiful routines, while other times were disastrous. Sadly, my floor routine had never been consistent.<\/p>\n

That Saturday afternoon, I slipped into the empty gym and walked over to the mat. I sat down and touched its carpeted surface. After a few minutes, my cheeks were wet with the bitter disappointment of a dad who only showed up when it was convenient for him. I ruminated on the years of practices and meets where I had channeled my resentment into acrobatics and dance moves, resolved to rise higher than his indifference.<\/p>\n

I saw then that my deepest wounds were inextricably entangled with my greatest passion. They needed to be permanently separated. While my anger had first served to launch me into gymnastics, before long, I had started serving my anger.<\/p>\n

Anger is a cruel master. It corrupts everything it touches, even something as beautiful as a well-choreographed floor routine.<\/p>\n

I changed my music days before regionals. \u201cThe Devil\u201d no longer had a place in my routine. Instead, I chose an energetic cyberpunk soundtrack that inspired me to perform with passion and laser focus. Dad made an obligatory appearance at regionals, but he left before I could talk to him.<\/p>\n

It didn\u2019t matter this time. I stuck every landing in my routine. Anger no longer controlled me. I was finally free.<\/p>\n

Word count: 601<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
College essay checklist<\/caption>\n
\n
    \n
  • Clear and well-structured narrative that answers the prompt<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The student makes a unique connection, showing how her troubled relationship with her floor routine is connected to her anger at her absent father. However, rather than focusing on her difficult past, she highlights a key moment when she overcame her anger and made peace with her relationships with her dad and with gymnastics.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\n
    \n
  • Appropriate writing style and tone<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The essay uses a conversational tone but selectively employs elevated language that fits the student\u2019s vocabulary range. The student uses personification to illustrate her close relationship to anger and gymnastics, such as \u201canger is a cruel master\u201d and \u201cthe bars, beam, and vault were less forgiving.\u201d<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\n
    \n
  • Demonstrates positive traits and authenticity<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
Through showing, not telling, the student clearly demonstrates dedication, hard work, and resilience. She also displays her commitment to emotional growth and character.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\n
    \n
  • Demonstrates self-reflection and insight<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
In the final paragraphs, the student contemplates her troubled relationship with her floor routine and realizes its connection to her absent father. She explains how this insight healed her and allowed her to freely perform without anger.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Prompt 2: Overcoming challenges<\/h2>\n

This essay shows how the challenges the student faced in caring for her sister with autism resulted in an unexpected path forward in her education.<\/p>\n

Example: Overcoming challenges<\/figcaption>

The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?<\/strong><\/p>\n

I never had a choice.<\/p>\n

My baby sister was born severely autistic, which meant that every detail of our home life was repeatedly adjusted to manage her condition. I couldn\u2019t go to bed without fearing that Mindy would wake up screaming with that hoarse little voice of hers. I couldn\u2019t have friends over on weekends because we never knew if our entire family would need to shift into crisis mode to help Mindy regain control.<\/p>\n

We couldn\u2019t take a family vacation because Mindy would start hitting us during a long car ride when she didn\u2019t want to sit there anymore. We couldn\u2019t even celebrate Christmas like a normal family because Mindy would shriek and run away when we tried to give her presents.<\/p>\n

I was five years old when Mindy was born. For the first ten years, I did everything I could to help my mom with Mindy. But Mom was depressed and would often stare out the window, as if transfixed by the view. Dad was no help either. He used his job as an excuse to be away from home. So, I tried to make up for both of them and rescue Mindy however I could whenever she needed it.<\/p>\n

However, one day, when I was slowly driving Mindy around with the windows down, trying to lull her into a calmer state, we passed two of my former classmates from middle school. They heard Mindy growling her disapproval as the ride was getting long for her. One of them turned to the other and announced, \u201cOh my God! Marabeth brought her pet monster out for a drive!\u201d They laughed hysterically and ran down the street.<\/p>\n

After that day, I defied my parents at every turn. I also ignored Mindy. I even stopped doing homework. I purposely \u201cgot in with the wrong crowd\u201d and did whatever they did.<\/p>\n

My high school counselor Ms. Martinez saw through it all. She knew my family\u2019s situation well. It didn\u2019t take her long to guess what had probably happened.<\/p>\n

\u201cMarabeth, I get it. My brother has Down syndrome. It was really hard growing up with him as a brother. The other kids were pretty mean about it, especially in high school.\u201d<\/p>\n

I doubted she understood. \u201cYeah. So?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m guessing something happened that hurt or embarrassed you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m so sorry. I can only imagine how you must have felt.\u201d<\/p>\n

It must have been the way she said it because I suddenly found myself sobbing into my trembling, cupped hands.<\/p>\n

Ms. Martinez and I met every Friday after that for the rest of the year. Her stories of how she struggled to embrace living with and loving her brother created a bridge to my pain and then my healing. She explained that her challenges led her to pursue a degree in counseling so that she could offer other people what no one had given her.<\/p>\n

I thought that Mindy was the end of my life, but, because of Ms. Martinez\u2019s example and kindness, I can now see that Mindy is a gift, pointing me toward my future.<\/p>\n

Now, I\u2019m applying to study psychology so that I can go on to earn my master\u2019s degree in counseling. I\u2019m learning to forgive my parents for their mistakes, and I\u2019m back in Mindy\u2019s life again, but this time as a sister, not a savior. My choice.<\/p>\n

Word Count: 553<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
College essay checklist<\/caption>\n
\n
    \n
  • Clear and well-structured narrative that answers the prompt<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The essay has a logical flow. It starts by explaining the student\u2019s challenges as her sister\u2019s caretaker, describes her breaking point, and then shows how her counselor pointed her toward a new perspective and career path. It also avoids dwelling on negative details and concludes with a positive outlook and action.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\n
    \n
  • Appropriate writing style and tone<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The student\u2019s tone is appropriately conversational to illustrate her feelings with vulnerability.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\n
    \n
  • Demonstrates positive traits and authenticity<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The essay clearly shows the student\u2019s commitment, resilience, and sacrifice through the narrative of her caring for her sister.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\n
    \n
  • Demonstrates self-reflection and insight<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The student reveals her honest thoughts and feelings. She also explains how her counselor helped her see her sister as a gift who motivated her to pursue a meaningful career path.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Prompt 3: Questioning a belief or idea<\/h2>\n

This essay illustrates a student\u2019s courage in challenging his culture\u2019s constructs of manhood and changing his course while positively affecting his father in the process.<\/p>\n

Example: Questioning a belief or idea<\/figcaption>

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cNo son of mine is gonna march around a football field wearing tail feathers while all the real men are playing football!\u201d<\/p>\n

I took a step backward and tried not to appear as off-balance as I felt. In my excitement, I had blurted out more information than my father could handle:<\/p>\n

\u201cDad! I made the marching band as a freshman! Nobody does that\u2014I mean nobody!\u201d<\/p>\n

As soon as I had said it, I wished I could recall those words. How could I forget that 26 years earlier, he had been the starting wide receiver for the state-champion Tigers on the same field?!<\/p>\n

Still, when I opened the email on that scorching hot August afternoon, I was thrilled that five months of practicing every possible major and harmonic minor scale\u2014two octaves up and two octaves down\u2014had made the difference. I had busted reed after reed, trying not to puff my cheeks while moving my fingers in a precise cadence.<\/p>\n

I knew he had heard me continually practicing in my room, yet he seemed to ignore all the parts of me that were incongruous with his vision of manhood:<\/p>\n

Ford F-150 4x4s. Pheasant hunting. The Nebraska Cornhuskers.<\/p>\n

I never had to wonder what he valued. For years, I genuinely shared his interests. But, in the fall of eighth grade, I heard Kyle Wheeling play a saxophone solo during the homecoming marching band halftime show. My dad took me to every football game to teach me the plays, but that night, all I could think about was Kyle\u2019s bluesy improv at halftime.<\/p>\n

During Thanksgiving break, I got my mom to drive me into Omaha to rent my instrument at Dietze Music, and, soon after, I started private lessons with Mr. Ken. Before long, I was spending hours in my room, exploring each nuance of my shiny Yamaha alto sax, anticipating my audition for the Marching Tigers at the end of the spring semester.<\/p>\n

During those months of practice, I realized that I couldn\u2019t hide my newfound interest forever, especially not from the football players who were going to endlessly taunt me. But not all the guys played football. Some were in choir and theater. Quite a few guys were in the marching band. In fact, the Marching Tigers had won the grand prize in their division at last year\u2019s state showdown in Lincoln.<\/p>\n

I was excited! They were the champions, and I was about to become a part of their legacy.<\/p>\n

Yet, that afternoon, a sense of anxiety brewed in my belly. I knew I had to talk to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cDad?\u201d<\/p>\n

He was sweeping the grass clippings off of the sidewalk. He nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI need to tell you something.\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked up.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know that you know about my sax because you hear me practicing. I like it a lot, and I\u2019m becoming pretty good at it. I still care about what you like, but I\u2019m starting to like some other things more. I hope you\u2019ll be proud of me whatever I choose.\u201d<\/p>\n

He studied the cracks in the driveway. \u201cI am proud of you. I just figured you\u2019d play football.\u201d<\/p>\n

We never talked about it again, but that fall, he was in the stands when our marching band won the state championship in Lincoln for the second time. In fact, for the next four years, he never left the stands during halftime until the marching band had performed. He was even in the audience for every performance of \u201cOur Town\u201d at the end of my junior year. I played the Stage Manager who reveals the show\u2019s theme: everything changes gradually.<\/p>\n

I know it\u2019s true. Things do change over time, even out here in central Nebraska. I know because I\u2019ve changed, and my dad has changed, too. I just needed the courage to go first.<\/p>\n

Word count: 626<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
College essay checklist<\/caption>\n
\n
    \n
  • Clear and well-structured narrative that answers the prompt<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The essay starts with a picture of confrontation that directly reflects the prompt. It then paints a chronological narrative of the student\u2019s journey toward change, while using the literary device of flashback in the middle to add background and clarity to the story.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\n
    \n
  • Appropriate writing style and tone<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The student uses a conversational yet respectful tone for a college essay. He effectively uses dialogue to highlight important moments of conflict and mutual understanding throughout the story.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\n
    \n
  • Demonstrates positive traits and authenticity<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The student clearly demonstrates the qualities of self-reflection, courage, and integrity without directly claiming to have them (show, don\u2019t tell).<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\n
    \n
  • Demonstrates self-reflection and insight<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The student offers an honest assessment of his culture\u2019s traditional views of manhood, his reasons for challenging them, and his appreciation for his father\u2019s acceptance of his choices.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Prompt 4: Appreciating an influential person<\/h2>\n

The student demonstrates how his teacher giving him an unexpected bad grade was the catalyst for his becoming a better writer.<\/p>\n

Example: Appreciating an influential person<\/figcaption>

Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?<\/strong><\/p>\n

I stared in disbelief at the big red letter at the top of my paper: D.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Never in my entire high school career had I seen that letter at the top of any paper, unless it was at the beginning of my first name.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I had a 4.796 GPA. I had taken every pre-AP and AP course offered. My teachers had praised my writing skills! However, Mr. Trimble didn\u2019t think so, and he let me know it:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDarwin, in the future, I believe you can do better if you fully apply yourself.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I furiously scanned the paper for corrections. Not even one! Grammar and syntax? Perfect. Spelling? Impeccable. Sentence and paragraph structure? Precise and indisputable, as always.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Was he trying to ruin my GPA? Cooper was clearly his favorite, and we were neck and neck for valedictorian, which was only one year away. Maybe they were conspiring to take me down.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Thankfully, AP Composition was my last class. I fled the room and ran to my car. Defiant tears stained my cheeks as I screeched my tires and roared out of the parking lot. When I got home, I shoved in my AirPods, flopped on my bed, and buried my head under the pillow.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I awoke to my sister, Daria, gently shaking my arm. \u201cI know what happened, D. Trimble stopped me in the hall after school.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure he did. He\u2019s trying to ruin my life.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not what he told me. You should talk to him, D.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The next day, although I tried to avoid Mr. Trimble at all costs, I almost tripped over him as I was coming out of the bathroom.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDarwin, can we talk?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He walked me down the hall to his room. \u201cDo you know that you\u2019re one of the best writers I\u2019ve ever had in AP Comp?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThen why\u2019d you do it?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause you\u2019re better than you know, Darwin. You impress with your perfect presentations, and your teachers reward you with A\u2019s and praise. I do frequent the teacher\u2019s lounge, you know.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo I know you\u2019re not trying.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I locked eyes with him and glared.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve never had to try because you have a gift. And, in the midst of the acclaim, you\u2019ve never pushed yourself to discover your true capabilities.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo you give me a D?!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt got your attention.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not going to leave it, are you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, the D stands. You didn\u2019t apply yourself. You\u2019ll have to earn your way out with your other papers.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I gained a new understanding of the meaning of ambivalence. Part of me was furious at the injustice of the situation, but I also felt strangely challenged and intrigued. I joined a local writer\u2019s co-op and studied K. M. Weiland\u2019s artistic writing techniques.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Multiple drafts, track changes, and constructive criticism became my new world. I stopped taking Mr. Trimble\u2019s criticism personally and began to see it as a precious tool to bolster me, not break me down.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Last week, the New York Public Library notified me that I was named one of five finalists for the Young Lions Fiction Award. They described my collection of short stories as \u201cfresh, imaginative, and captivating.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I never thought I could be grateful for a D, but Mr. Trimble\u2019s insightful courage was the catalyst that transformed my writing and my character. Just because other people applaud you for <\/span>being the best <\/span><\/i>doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re <\/span>doing your best<\/span><\/i>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

AP Composition is now recorded as an A on my high school transcript, and Cooper and I are still locked in a tight race for the finish line. But, thanks to Mr. Trimble, I have developed a different paradigm for evaluation: my best. And the more I apply myself, the better my best becomes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Word Count: 627<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
College essay checklist<\/caption>\n
\n
    \n
  • Clear and well-structured narrative that answers the prompt<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The essay begins with an attention-grabbing statement that immediately captures the essence of surprise requested in the prompt. The story then unfolds in a logical sequence, taking the reader on a journey of unexpected transformation.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\n
    \n
  • Appropriate writing style and tone<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The student uses an accessible, casual tone that works well in light of his expertise in writing. His use of dialogue with nicknames and colloquialism brings a conversational tone to the storyline.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\n
    \n
  • Demonstrates positive traits and authenticity<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The student openly shows his motivation for success and his feelings toward his peers and teacher. However, he demonstrates humility in accepting criticism, responding with a diligent attempt to improve his writing skills.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\n
    \n
  • Demonstrates self-reflection and insight<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The essay concludes with growth in the student\u2019s character and self-discipline while his circumstances remained the same. He brings the prompt full circle, expressing his gratitude toward his teacher.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Prompt 5: Transformative event<\/h2>\n

This student narrates how she initially went to church for a boy but instead ended up confronting her selfishness by helping others.<\/p>\n

Example: Transformative event<\/figcaption>

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Originally, I went to church not because I was searching for Jesus but because I liked a boy.<\/p>\n

Isaac Ono wasn\u2019t the most athletic boy in our class, nor was he the cutest. But I was amazed by his unusual kindness toward everyone. If someone was alone or left out, he\u2019d walk up to them and say hello or invite them to hang out with him and his friends.<\/p>\n

I started waking up at 7:30 a.m. every Sunday morning to attend Grace Hills Presbyterian, where Isaac\u2019s father was the pastor. I would strategically sit in a pew not too close but close enough to Isaac that when the entire congregation was instructed to say \u201cPeace be with you,\u201d I could \u201chappen\u201d to shake Isaac\u2019s hand and make small talk.<\/p>\n

One service, as I was staring at the back of Isaac\u2019s head, pondering what to say to him, my hearing suddenly tuned in to his father\u2019s sermon.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s no such thing as a good or bad person.\u201d<\/p>\n

My eyes snapped onto Pastor Marcus.<\/p>\n

\u201cI used to think I was a good person who came from a respectable family and did nice things. But people aren\u2019t inherently good or bad. They just make good or bad choices.\u201d<\/p>\n

My mind raced through a mental checklist of whether my past actions fell mostly into the former or latter category.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs it says in Deuteronomy 30:15, \u2018I have set before you today life and good, death and evil.\u2019 Follow in the footsteps of Jesus and do good.\u201d<\/p>\n

I glanced to my left and saw Margaret, underlining passages in her study Bible and taking copious notes.<\/p>\n

Months earlier, I had befriended Margaret. We had fourth-period Spanish together but hadn\u2019t interacted much. She was friends with Isaac, so I started hanging out with her to get closer to him. But eventually, the two of us were spending hours in the Starbucks parking lot having intense discussions about religion, boys, and our futures until we had to return home before curfew.<\/p>\n

After hearing the pastor\u2019s sermon, I realized that what I had admired about Isaac was also present in Margaret and other people at church: a welcoming spirit. I\u2019m pretty sure Margaret knew of my ulterior motives for befriending her, but she never called me out on it.<\/p>\n

After that day, I started paying more attention to Pastor Marcus\u2019s sermons and less attention to Isaac. One year, our youth group served Christmas Eve dinner to the homeless and ate with them. I sat across from a woman named Lila who told me how child services had taken away her four-year-old daughter because of her financial and living situation.<\/p>\n

A few days later, as I sat curled up reading the book of James, my heart suddenly felt heavy.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, \u2018Go in peace, be warmed and filled,\u2019 without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?\u201d<\/p>\n

I thought back to Pastor Marcus\u2019s sermon on good and bad actions, Lila and her daughter, and the times I had passed people in need without even saying hello.<\/p>\n

I decided to put my faith into action. The next week, I started volunteering at the front desk of a women\u2019s shelter, helping women fill out forms or watching their kids while they talked with social workers.<\/p>\n

From working for the past year at the women\u2019s shelter, I now know I want to major in social work, caring for others instead of focusing on myself. I may not be a good person (or a bad one), but I can make good choices, helping others with every opportunity God gives me.<\/p>\n

Word count: 622<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
College essay checklist<\/caption>\n
\n
    \n
  • Clear and well-structured narrative that answers the prompt<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The narrative begins by clearly identifying the prompt: the event of church attendance. It has a clear story arc, starting with the student’s church experiences, moving on to her self-examination, and concluding with the changes she made to her behavior and goals to serve others.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\n
    \n
  • Appropriate writing style and tone<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The student uses dialogue to highlight key moments of realization and transformation. The essay\u2019s tone is casual, helping the reader feel comfortable in the student\u2019s thoughts and memory.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\n
    \n
  • Demonstrates positive traits and authenticity<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The student displays an unusual level of self-awareness and maturity by revealing an ulterior motive, the ability to self-reflect, and a desire to authentically apply theoretical teachings in a real-world setting.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
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  • Demonstrates self-reflection and insight<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
While the topic of church and conversion is common, the student\u2019s narrative weaves in unexpected elements to create interest while clearly answering the prompt.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Prompt 6: Interest or hobby that inspires learning<\/h2>\n

This essay shows how a student\u2019s natural affinity for solving a Rubik\u2019s cube developed her self-understanding, academic achievement, and inspiration for her future career.<\/p>\n

Example: Interest or hobby<\/figcaption>

Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?<\/strong><\/p>\n

The worst part about writing is putting down my Rubik\u2019s cube so that I can use my hands to type. That\u2019s usually the worst part of tackling my to-do list: setting aside my Rubik\u2019s cube. My parents call it an obsession. But, for me, solving a Rubik\u2019s cube challenges my brain as nothing else can.<\/p>\n

It started on my ninth birthday. I invited three friends for a sleepover party, and I waited to open my presents right before bed. Wrapping paper, ribbons, and bows flew through the air as I oohed and aahed over each delightful gift! However, it was the last gift\u2014a 3 x 3 x 3 cube of little squares covered in red, green, blue, yellow, white, and orange\u2014that intrigued me.<\/p>\n

I was horrified when Bekka ripped it out of my hands and messed it all up! I had no idea how to make all the sides match again. I waited until my friends were fast asleep. Then, I grabbed that cube and studied it under my blanket with a flashlight, determined to figure out how to restore it to its former pristine state.<\/p>\n

Within a few weeks, I had discovered the secret. To practice, I\u2019d take my cube with me to recess and let the other kids time me while I solved it in front of them. The better I became, the more they gathered around. But I soon realized that their attention didn\u2019t matter all that much. I loved solving cubes for hours wherever I was: at lunch, riding in the car, or alone in my room.<\/p>\n

Cross. White corners. Middle-layer edges. Yellow cross. Sune and anitsune.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

The sequential algorithms became second nature, and with the assistance of a little black digital timer, I strove to solve the cube faster,<\/strong> each time attempting to beat my previous record. I watched speed solvers on YouTube, like Australia\u2019s Feliks Zemdegs and Max Park from Massachusetts, but I wasn\u2019t motivated to compete as they did. I watched their videos to learn how to improve my time. I liked finding new, more efficient ways of mastering the essential 78 separate cube-solving algorithms.<\/p>\n

Now, I understand why my passion for my Rubik\u2019s cube has never waned. Learning and applying the various algorithms soothes my brain and centers my emotions, especially when I feel overwhelmed from being around other people. Don\u2019t get me wrong: I like other people\u2014just in doses.<\/p>\n

While some people get recharged by spending time with others, I can finally breathe when I\u2019m alone with my cube. Our psychology teacher says the difference between an extrovert and an introvert is the situations that trigger their brains to produce dopamine. For me, it\u2019s time away, alone, flipping through cube patterns to set a new personal best.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, the world doesn\u2019t cooperate with introverts, requiring them to interact with many people throughout the day. That\u2019s why you\u2019ll often find me in the stairwell or a library corner attempting to master another one of the 42 quintillion ways to solve a cube. My parents tease me that when I\u2019ve \u201chad enough\u201d of anything, my fingers get a Rubik\u2019s itch, and I suddenly disappear. I\u2019m usually occupied for a while, but when I finally emerge, I feel centered, prepared to tackle my next task.<\/p>\n

Secretly, I credit my cube with helping me earn top marks in AP Calculus, Chemistry, and Physics. It\u2019s also responsible for my interest in computer engineering. It seems I just can\u2019t get enough of those algorithms, which is why I want to study the design and implementation of cybersecurity software\u2014all thanks to my Rubik\u2019s cube.<\/p>\n

Just don\u2019t tell my parents! It would ruin all the fun!<\/p>\n

Word count: 607<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
College essay checklist<\/caption>\n
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  • Clear and well-structured narrative that answers the prompt<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The student immediately captures the reader\u2019s attention with an unexpected statement that captures the prompt\u2019s focus on captivation. Her writing clearly illustrates her love for the Rubik\u2019s cube, showing how the cube has helped her emotionally and academically and inspired her choice of major.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
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  • Appropriate writing style and tone<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The student uses a conversational tone while inserting elevated language and concepts that surround her field of interest. She also uses the first-person pronoun<\/a> “I” to personalize her experience.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
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  • Demonstrates positive traits and authenticity<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
Through her detailed narrative of her Rubik\u2019s cube hobby, the student demonstrates perseverance, focus, curiosity, and an uncanny ability to solve problems.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
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  • Demonstrates self-reflection and insight<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The student shows awareness of her introversion by explaining how the Rubik\u2019s cube helps her emotionally recharge. She also credits her hobby with helping her in her studies and inspiring her intended major.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Prompt 7: Free topic<\/h2>\n

In this free topic essay, the student uses a montage structure<\/a> inspired by the TV show Iron Chef America<\/em> to demonstrate his best leadership moments.<\/p>\n

Example: Free topic<\/figcaption>

Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you\u2019ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Iron Chef America: College Essay Edition<\/strong><\/p>\n

The time has come to answer college\u2019s most difficult question: Whose story shows glory?<\/p>\n

This is \u2026 Iron Chef America: College Essay Edition!<\/p>\n

Welcome to Kitchen Stadium! Today we have Chef Brett Lowell. Chef Brett will be put to the test to prove he has what it takes to attend university next fall.<\/p>\n

And the secret ingredient is \u2026 leadership! He must include leadership in each of his dishes, which will later be evaluated by a panel of admissions judges.<\/p>\n

So now, America, with a creative mind and empty paper, I say unto you in the words of my teacher: \u201cLet\u2019s write!\u201d<\/p>\n

Appetizer: My first leadership experience<\/strong><\/p>\n

A mountain of mismatched socks, wrinkled jeans, and my dad\u2019s unironed dress shirts sat in front of me. Laundry was just one of many chores that welcomed me home once I returned from my after-school job at Baskin Robbins, a gig I had taken last year to help Dad pay the rent. A few years earlier, I wasn\u2019t prepared to cook dinners, pay utility bills, or pick up and drop off my brothers. I thought those jobs were reserved for parents. However, when my father was working double shifts at the power plant and my mom was living in Tucson with her new husband, Bill, I stepped up and took care of the house and my two younger brothers.<\/p>\n

Main course: My best leadership experience<\/strong><\/p>\n

Between waiting for the pasta water to boil and for the next laundry cycle to be finished, I squeezed in solving a few practice precalculus problems to prepare for the following week\u2019s mathletics competition. I liked how the equations always had clear, clean answers, which calmed me among the mounting responsibilities of home life. After leading my team to the Minnesota State Finals for two years in a row, I was voted team captain. Although my home responsibilities often competed with my mathlete duties, I tried to be as productive as possible in my free time. On the bus ride home, I would often tackle 10 to 20 functions or budget the following week\u2019s meals and corresponding grocery list. My junior year was rough, but both my home and my mathlete team needed me.<\/p>\n

Dessert: My future leadership hopes\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

The first thing I ever baked was a chocolate cake in middle school. This was around the time that Mom had just moved out and I was struggling with algebra. Troubles aside, one day my younger brother Simon needed a contribution for his school\u2019s annual bake sale, and the PTA moms wouldn\u2019t accept anything store-bought. So I carefully measured out the teaspoons and cups of various flours, powders, and oils, which resulted in a drooping, too-salty disaster.<\/p>\n

Four years later, after a bakery\u2019s worth of confections and many hours of study, I\u2019ve perfected my German chocolate cake and am on my way to mastering Calculus AB. I\u2019ve also thrown out the bitter-tasting parts of my past such as my resentment and anger toward my mom. I still miss having her at home, but whenever I have a baking question or want to update her on my mathlete team\u2019s success, I call her or chat with her over text.<\/p>\n

Whether in school or life, I see problems as opportunities, not obstacles, to find a better way to solve them more efficiently. I hope to continue improving my problem-solving skills next fall by majoring in mathematics and statistics.<\/p>\n

Time\u2019s up!\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

We hope you\u2019ve enjoyed this tasting of Chef Lowell\u2019s leadership experiences. Next fall, tune in to see him craft new leadership adventures in college. He\u2019s open to refining his technique and discovering new recipes.<\/p>\n

Word count: 612<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
College essay checklist<\/caption>\n
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  • Clear and well-structured narrative that answers the prompt<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The student uses a popular TV cooking show as an unexpected concept to display his leadership abilities. Since the prompt is open-ended, the student has more room to craft his response.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
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  • Appropriate writing style and tone<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The essay juxtaposes the contrived nature of a TV show\u2019s script with a conversational narrative of the student’s leadership stories.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
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    \n
  • Demonstrates positive traits and authenticity<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
Each story effectively showcases the student’s leadership by showing, not telling. Rather than saying \u201cI\u2019m a great leader,\u201d he provides specific instances of his best moments of demonstrated leadership.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
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  • Demonstrates self-reflection and insight<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
The student honestly shares his reservations about his mother\u2019s new life but shows how he was able to reconcile aspects of their relationship as time passed.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Other interesting articles<\/h2>\n

If you want to know more about academic writing<\/a>, effective communication<\/a>, or parts of speech<\/a>, make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.<\/p>\n

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<\/em>Academic writing<\/strong><\/p>\n